Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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