But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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