I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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