You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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