a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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