i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
