Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
