i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
