There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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