im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
