Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You're breaking my sexual little heart
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
