What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
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Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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