i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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