Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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