She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
