My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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