I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
