were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I have already put on my inside pants.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
