Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
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what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
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