Bisexual people are plain selfish.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
