There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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