That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
