I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
