tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
