OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
