i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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