grandma shit on top of the toilet
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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