Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
