Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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