i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
