I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
