I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
