I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
