Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
