that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
