after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize