I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
