Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
