we have officially lost it.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
