im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Randomize
