Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
