Why are handjobs necessary in class?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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