Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
