so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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