that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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