I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
