I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
