I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
