Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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