My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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