Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
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i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
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Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize