weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
