Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
We left an ass print on the piano.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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