Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
