i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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