when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
She needs sedatives and a leash
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
