we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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