i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize