I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
