Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
