After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
