I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Fuck appropriateness.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
