It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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