hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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