I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
