She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
