I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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