All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
